“Polygamy, Not My Problem”- A Muslim Woman

By Umm Zakiyyah
Source: onIslam.net

Being a man doesn’t mean diving into polygamy while completely disregarding the first wife’s feelings.

“If you don’t want your husband to marry another woman,” the imams said, “then, reflect on the hadith of the Prophet,(peace and blessings be upon him). You should love for your sister what you love for yourself.”

I turned off the video and sipped my tea in the silence of the room. I had planned to watch the prominent imam’s entire lecture on the subject of plural marriage in Islam, but I couldn’t get past the first few minutes.

It wasn’t that I disagreed with his point. After all, it is true. If Muslim women who are already married think of a potential co-wife as a sister in Islam instead of a potential rival, then sharing a husband wouldn’t be so difficult.

But is this mental shift really as simple as people make it sound?

Is it even realistic?

“What role do you think women play in polygamy?”

The inquiry took me off guard because it was unrelated to the subject of the meeting. He wasn’t asking about the details of women’s role in a Muslim marriage (He already knew that). He was asking what role they play in ensuring that a husband’s pursuit of subsequent life in plural marriage Continue reading

A gift to muslim women

An excerpt from A Gift to Muslim women by Br.Mustafa George

via Gems and Jewels

If a believer were to read some of the situations of the companions, including men and women, he would immediately be reminded of how one should implement his religion and remain steadfast upon piety and righteousness. There are numerous examples which display this and it only requires that one spends some time and reads.

From the various examples present in the Sunnah of strong eemaan, and firmness upon the religion is a brief encounter between one of the female companions and the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. Her name is Asma bint al Yazeed bin al Sakn al Ansariyah, and she was nicknamed: Khateebatun Nisaa – The Female Lecturer, due to her eloquent manner of speech. Asma was the niece of the famous companion and scholar Mua’th bin Jabal and she was well known for her uprightness and sound intellect. Continue reading

It’s My Shield!

I’ve been listening to this poem over and over again! Just LOVE it! ❤

The Shield- Brooke VanBuskirk

By day I wrap this shield around my head, across my chest
This world is a prison- my mind and heart I must protect
Why? Because without it there’s no limit to be observed

What is modesty and decency? Man can’t properly determine
They say my choice to cover is old-fashioned
they say our religious practices are backwards
They spew cliché democracy and liberation
little do they know there’s little knowledge in what they’re saying
my argument is that ‘the times, they are a-changin’
and slowly but surely approaches an ‘anything goes’ day, when
no rules apply
whats wrong is called right
and crimes of the heart creep like a thief in the night
Continue reading

Mosaic Of Muslim Women

Assalamualaikum 🙂

I came across this really wonderful blog recently and I just had to share it here! It’s called the “Mosaic“. It’s started by a sister, who has taken up a wonderful job by starting the blog which recognizes muslim women from the past and present with amazing accomplishments. In her friday series she tells us all about the women during the prophet Muhammad (salAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam)’s time, may Allah be pleased with them.

“Welcome to Mosaic, a colorful artwork of Muslim women from all over the world who have extraordinary acheivements. It is a platform in which to recognize the unrecognized, celebrate the accomplished, and bring together a wide diversity of women who exemplify the image of a Muslimah.

Our Mosaic would not be complete without the Muslim women of the past, starting from the time of Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) and working through over 1400 years of Islam in order to show the empowerment and freedom Islam has brought to women. For 1400 years, Islam has enabled women to vote, inherit, keep their own last names, have careers and be equal to men. The situation of women in certain countries are the result of culture and government and not at all consequences of Islam, although some people might wrongly use the name of the religion to justify their actions.

Every week, we will feature a woman from the past and a woman from the present in order to paint a true picture in your mind about Muslim women.”

Source: About Mosaic

May Allah reward all these lovely ladies in abundance for their wonderful work; and May Allah grant us too the ability to contribute to Islam and the soceity in our own little ways, someday. Ameen.

Do check the blog out! 🙂

Why do women cry?

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I need to” she said.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.” Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”
“All women cry for no reason,” his dad answered carelessly
The little boy, still wondering why women cry, finally asked the old wise shaykh. “He surely knows the answer”, he thought.

“Ya Shaykh! Why do women cry so easily?”
He answered:
“When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children. He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation, it’s hers.”
“You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.”
The little boy got the answer and never asked the question again.

Source: HabibiHalaqas.org

Tik Tok – 5 before 5!!

Sr. Amal Ahmed is only 17 years old but has such maturity and wisdom in her message to us all. She explains how we should ‘take advantage of 5 before 5’.

She was one of the speakers at TEDX IBYork in Toronto (live streaming) among other IB students from all over the world, and she was the “Student Speaker Winner”,Masha’allah!

Listen to her speak and be inspired to make a change, Insha’allah!

Eternal Lessons Learnt

The story of the ifk is one that absolutely touches my heart every time I read it. My heart goes out to the mother of believer – Ayesha (RA), for the pain and hurt that she would have had to bear during it. It’s filled with lessons for all of us. Lessons which, especially today, everyone needs to be reminded of, because of the slander and backbiting that is taken so lightly in the present times, Astaghfirullah.

-Potential Hijabi


Khair, Inshaallah (Eternal Lessons from the incident of ifk)

Source:Muslim Oasis

The scene: a woman searching for her broken necklace…

Aisha narrates, “When Allah’s Apostle had finished his Ghazwa (battle) and returned and we approached Madinah, Allah’s Messenger ordered to proceed at night. When the army was ordered to resume the homeward journey, I got up and walked on till I left the army (camp) behind. When I had answered the call of nature, I went towards my howdah [the carriage like thing that women would ride on the camel], but behold! A necklace of mine made of Jaz Azfar (a kind of bead) was broken and I looked for it and my search for it detained me…”

Times passes the woman by as she continues searching, and her group, not realizing that she is not with them, set back on their journey. The woman is left all alone in the middle of the vast desert…

“The group of people who used to carry me, came and carried my howdah on to the back of my camel on which I was riding, considering that I was therein. At that time women were light in weight and were not fleshy for they used to eat little (food), so those people did not feel the lightness of the howdah while raising it up, and I was still a young lady. They drove away the camel and proceeded. Then I found my necklace after the army had gone. I came to their camp but found nobody therein so I went to the place where I used to stay, thinking that they would miss me and come back in my search…

To Him Do We Belong and to Him We Will Return- the only words the lone woman heard from the man whose job was to make sure that no one was left behind…

While I was sitting at my place, I felt sleepy and slept … Safwan had started in the last part of the night and reached my stationing place in the morning and saw the figure of a sleeping person. He came to me and recognized me, as he used to see me before veiling. I got up because of his saying: “Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun” . I covered my face, and by Allah, he did not say to me a single word except, “Inna Lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun”. He made his she-camel kneel down, whereupon he trod on its forelegs and I mounted it. Then Safwan set out, leading the she-camel that was carrying me, till we met the army while they were resting during the hot midday. After this we arrived at Madinah …”[Aisha, Radiya Allah Anha]

That’s how the IFK (slander) incident occurred, the incident in which the hypocrite, Abdullah Ibn-Ubai Ibn-Salul, decided to accuse the Wife of the Prophet, one of the Mothers of the Believers, of an unspeakable act. And that’s when all of Madinah was put to a test- a test, which on the outside seemed very bad, but as Allah told us, actually had khair for us.

“Indeed, those who came with falsehood are a group among you. Do not think it bad for you; rather it is good for you. For every person among them is what [punishment] he has earned from the sin, and he who took upon himself the greater portion thereof – for him is a great punishment… (surat Nur: ayah 11)”

Khair? (Good?) Even, though our beautiful Lady Aisha (Radiya Allah Anha/May Allah be pleased with her) was slandered and the Prophet, Sallah Allahoo alyhaee wa salam, had to endure a month of grief, waiting for the innocence of his beloved wife to be declared? Yes, wallahi (by Allah), it was truly khair! The Ifk event taught us so many things which if we applied today would completely erase many of the problems in our communities! It taught us valuable lessons… lessons of how to earn jannatul firdaus!

Eternal Lesson #1: Always assume  the best in others.

After mentioning the Ifk incident, the very first question Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala asks the believers, is this:

“Why, when you heard it, did not the believing men and believing women think good of one another and say, “This is an obvious falsehood”? (Surat Nur: ayah 12”)

How many times do we hear scandalous news? “Did you hear that Salwa snuck out her house and …” “OMG, she did?” we sometimes ask back. “Oh yeah, I heard from X who heard from Y who was told by N that…”

Why? Why do we assume that what we hear is true? Why don’t we think good of others? Why don’t we say “No, I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s possible. I refuse to accept that!”

The truth is, if you think badly of others, then it is your heart that is not entirely pure. To demonstrate this idea, a lecturer once gave this example: A man crept up back home, a little after dawn, after hanging out in a disco. On his way back home, he bumped into another man, who actually had just been heading back home after praying fajr. Each man saw each other and each thought that the other man was doing what he, himself, had been doing…

When we think badly of others, especially when there is no evidence, it is we who are at fault. We should learn from Abu-Ayyub Al-Ansari (Radiya Allah Anhoo) and his wife who behaved quite wonderfully during the Ifk incident. Abu Ayyub simply asked his wife if she would ever have done what people were accusing Aisha of doing. She swore that she would never have done it. Confidently, he responded then, that Aisha would never have done it, either, since she was of course better than his wife (Aisha was the Prophet’s wife and one of the Mothers of the Believers). Abu Ayyub’s wife then asked Abu Ayyub if he would have done what Safwan was accused of doing. Abu Ayyub replied that he would never betrayed Rasool Allah; his wife, then also told him that Sawfan too is better than him and that he would never have done that, either! By looking into themselves and assuming better of other people, the couple established that there was no truth at all to what was being said.

Eternal Lesson #2: Don’t talk about such things in the first place!

And why, when you heard it, did you not say, “It is not for us to speak of this. Exalted are You, [O Allah]; this is a great slander”? (16) Allah warns you against returning to the likes of this [conduct], ever, if you should be believers. (17)

If you didn’t see the matter, just don’t talk about it. That is, if somebody comes up to you, looking over their shoulder and with their eyes practically twinkling with the news of some juicy story, even if it’s somebody you would trust your life with, simply tell them that Allah and His Prophet have asked the believers not to talk about such things…

Abû Hurayrah relates that Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent….[ Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim ]

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, also narrated

The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, said, , ‘A sign of one’s excellence in his Islam, is ignoring what does not concern him.’ [Related by Ahmad, Malik & At-Tirmithi]

Now! Let’s say you saw the matter and you were the only witness. Don’t tell others about it! How many nights and days has Allah seen you committing a sin? How many times has He concealed your sin for you? Show Allah’s servants this same mercy and conceal their sins so that Allah may conceal yours for you on the Day of Judgment.

“If a person conceals the weakness of another in this world, Allah will conceal their weakness in the hereafter” [Al Nawawi, Riyad al Salihin p 135, Hadith no 245; al Ghazali, Kitab Adab p 344]

It’s not just so that Allah will conceal your sin, though. It’s so that you don’t fall into sin. Remember, Allah has decreed that no one is to accuse another of fornication without producing 4 reliable witnesses! FOUR! Do you know what the punishment is if one accuses a person and they have brought not 4, but 3 witnesses? 80 lashes! Now, tell me what scandal is worth that?

One other important thing to mention is that it’s not just about not spreading rumors around. The Ifk incident taught is that it’s even more than that. It’s about not liking for such news to be spread around!

Indeed, those who like that immorality should be spread [or publicized] among those who have believed will have a painful punishment in this world and the Hereafter. And Allah knows and you do not know. (surat Al Nur: aya 19)

Eternal Lesson #3: Never belittle a sin. Remember who you are sinning against and that His judgment may be different from yours!

When you received it with your tongues and said with your mouths that of which you had no knowledge and thought it was insignificant while it was, in the sight of Allah, tremendous. (surat Al Nur: 15)

When the Ifk incident happened, some people started talking about it, thinking it was something small. Look what Allah told them! The truth is, many times, we fall into the trap of believing that we are doing is not really a big deal. Do we really know what Allah thinks of it as? Do we really want to risk being wrong?

Eternal Lesson #4: Forgive, even if someone has wronged you

During the Ifk incident, one of the persons who spread the awful rumors was none other than one of Abu Bakr’s relatives, Mistah Ibn-Uthatha (Radiya Allah Anhuma), whom Abu Bakr in fact, used to give charity to. After the incident occurred and Mistah accused Abu Bakr’s daughter, Abu Bakr took the decision to no longer give Mistah money- a decision any one of us might have taken. Yet, Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala, after declaring Aisha’s innocence also said what He thought of Abu Bakr’s decision:

“And let not the ones endowed with the Grace (of Allah) and affluence swear off bringing (charity) to near of kin (Literally: endowed with kinship) and the indigent and to the ones emigrating in the way of Allah; and let them be clement and let them pardon. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Ever-Merciful” (22)

Can you imagine? Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala told Abu Bakr to forgive Mistah and to continue to pay him money. What about us? Are any of at Abu Bakr’s level? Did anyone of us risk our lives for the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam? Even though Abu Bakr had done that and had been the Prophet’s greatest companion, Allah still told him to forgive Mistah so that Allah would forgive Abu Bakr! SubhanAllah! How important then is it for us to forgive others?

Eternal Lesson #5 : Allah is Forgiving if you repent to Him

Related to the above lesson of forgiveness but still very different is that Allah is Forgiving, if you repent to Him. So many times you hear people saying “Man, God will never forgive what I’ve done. I’m doomed”… No, you are not! One, thing the Ifk incident tells us is that you are never doomed! Do you know what the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told Aisha, Radiya Allah Anha?

“Thereafter, O ‘Aisha! I have been informed such and such a thing about you; and if you are innocent, Allah will reveal your innocence, and if you have committed a sin, then ask for Allah’s forgiveness and repent to Him, for when a worshiper of Allah confesses his sin and then repents to Allah, Allah accepts his repentance”.

Can you imagine? The Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam told Aisha Radiya Allah Anha that even if she had betrayed him ( Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam) and had done such an act, all she had to do was sincerely repent to Allah and ask for forgiveness. He, Sallahoo Alyhee wa salam, didn’t tell her, Audoo Billah, “Honey, you’re going to hell” but instead continued to tell her a way to paradise!

So let’s take this lesson from the Ifk for ourselves and realize the importance of repentance and let’s also spread this message of forgiveness around. Let’s stop giving people the impression that they’re doomed and going to hell and let’s start telling them about how Forgiving Allah is as long they truly feel the weight of their sin!

Eternal Lesson #6: Don’t take sides because someone is your relative, or from the same place as you, etc.

During the Ifk incident, the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam gathered the people and asked them who would help him against the man who had spread rumors about his family and the good pious man, Safwan. What he wanted was simply for the hypocrite, Ibn Salul, to end what he had started, but that didn’t happen. Instead a member of the Awas tribe promised the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam that he would relieve him of the man. Then, the chief of the Khazraj tribe basically suggested that that Companion had said a lie (that is, he denied that the member of the Awas would do anything), and suddenly chaos erupted, even though the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam was right there, with them! Why? Because instead of seeing things objectively, the sides began to see the matter from a matter of “Us/You” “Awas/Khazraj”. Nationalism colored their judgment and unfortunately their behavior only ended up grieving the Prophet Sallah Allahoo alyhee wa salam.

Eternal Lesson #7: Have patience and know that Allah has not forgotten about you

What about if you have been back-bited or slandered against? What can you learn from the Ifk? Patience. Patience. Patience. Aisha, Radiya Allah Anha had to wait an entire month until the truth emerged. She had to endure the fact that many people in the community believed she had done it. She even felt that her parents had started to believe it:

She told them, “By Allah, I know that you heard this story (i.e. of Ifk) so much so that it has been planted in your minds and you have believed it. So now, if I tell you that I am innocent, and Allah knows that I am innocent, you will not believe me; and if I confess something, and Allah knows that I am innocent of it, you will believe me…”

Instead, Aisha, Radiya Allah Anha, chose patience:

“ By Allah, I cannot find of you an example except that of Yusuf’s father (Alyhee as aslam). “So (for me) patience is most fitting against that which you assert and it is Allah (Alone) Whose help can be sought”.

And her patience paid off! A month later, Allah Subhanoo Wa’ Tala declared her innocence in the Qur’an! He decreed that all of us Muslims would read this story and know her innocence! He put her story as a part of His Divine Message to all of mankind.

So dear sisters and brothers, if you have been slandered against, never think that Allah has forgotten you. It may take time, but eventually the truth will emerge and each person will get their due! Just trust in Allah and know that “Verily with hardship is ease”.

In conclusion, these are just some of the lessons I could find from that single one event. I’m sure there are many more lessons and that each person will take home their very own lesson. But truly with all the lessons we can learn, it becomes abundantly clear, that yes, indeed, “Do not think it bad for you; rather it is good for you.” Khair, inshaAllah, if we could only implement all that it teaches us…

Acknowledgment: All of the translations of Aisha (Radiya Allah Anha’s) narrations in this article have been taken from the English translation of Dr. Amr Khaled’s episode number 22 of his series “On the Path of the Beloved”, which can be found here: http://amrkhaled.net/articles/articles1143.html