Life, responsibilities and being you!

DISCLAIMER: This blog post is a step I am taking to overcome my fear of voicing my opinion. This is in no way related to any circumstance or people in my life rather just on the lesson I learnt from MY mistakes.

A reader’s comment in my last blog post really got me thinking, so much that I felt the need to create this post. Everyone of us has responsibilities towards others that we need to fulfill for the pleasure of Allah, no doubt and I just felt the need to share my opinion on what I have learnt about life and responsibilities.

The reader says:

“How can you be tired of your responsibilities of being a Daughter and a Wife? That won’t direct you to the path of Allah ….. Allah will not be pleased if you run away from your responsibilities !! Allah himself says in Ayah 21,Surah Ar Rum, chapter no.30 HOLY QURAN : ” And among the signs is this that He created for you wives(spoues) from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He put between you affection and mercy. verily, in that are indeed signs for people who reflect”.
The relationship between husband and wife is unique. Each partner has lots of rights; but the rights do not come without responsibilities. let us try to understand what are the rights and responsibilities of husband and wife.”

My view:

Assalamualaikum,

JazakaAllahu Khair for your feedback:)

I understand my post makes you think I am tired of responsibilities. I won’t deny that I am and that is because somewhere I had made my duties towards others the purpose of my life.

Now I have come to understand that responsibilities do not make you who you are and do not have to define the purpose of your existence. Responsibilities are part of life and not life itself. They don’t define YOU.

I am trying to learn that I don’t have to change my core in order to fulfil the responsibilities and duties I have towards others. I can and need to be myself, happy in my own skin, focusing on my goals and purpose of life while fulfilling the responsibilities towards others in order to please Allah subhanahu wa’taala.

Yes you may have to adjust and compromise here and there but not such that instead of being a slave of Allah, you end up being slave to your nafs and people. Because that’s what happens most of the time. When our focus and purpose becomes needs of others and their pleasure we become so used to doing what people want us to do that we don’t even realise when we have crossed the limit set by Allah; our self worth and decisions becomes dependant on the approval of people instead of approval of Allah.

Prophet salAllahu wa sallam said: Your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you and your wife(spouse) has a right over you. (Sahib Bukhari)

Change begins with you first. Your body, your conscience, your health, your life is an amanah(blessing) from Allah and that also is a *responsibility* you have to take care of. How can I fulfill the responsibility towards others if I can’t fulfill the responsibility I have towards myself? How can I keep someone else happy if my own happiness tank is empty, how can I give someone else what I do not possess in the first place?

In order to be able to love others you need to first learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. Only then you will be able to give others their due right without draining yourself out. You need to have some bigger purpose that you want to live by only then will you not be shaken by the everyday trials of life. And that’s exactly what I am trying to do.

I am still on my way to learn how to balance like Prophet salAllahu alayhi wa sallam thought us to and inshaAllah I will learn that but one step at a time.

Loads of Duas,
Unaiza

 

P.S.Currently my self esteem and confidence is zero so yeah the previous blog post is just a step in the direction to help me help myself. I am trying to teach myself that in order to be a good daughter or a good wife I don’t have to be afraid to be myself.

Being Me, alhumdulillah

Dear Readers,

Assalamualaikum:)

It’s been a long time since this blog was updated, but now I guess its about time I bring this blog back to life again.

Having said that I want to introduce you to me. My Name is Unaiza Faiz. I am a non-practising Computer Science graduate who finds tremendous pleasure in writing! I love creating stuff but my laziness stops me from putting my mind to a better use in that area of my life. I love to blog, I used to be a writer at Habibi Halaqas and The Ideal Muslimah. I also used to be a graphic designer for Habibi Halaqas. It was that period of my life when alhumdulillah I put in my time and effort to create some wonderful articles and posters all by the grace of my almighty Rabb.

I am not Aasiya Maryam or Potential Hijabi, I am tired of hiding my identity, pretending to be someone else, now I just want to be ME!!

I am tired of trying to be the perfect daughter, perfect wife, perfect daughter-in-law, perfect cook, perfect this and that…blah blah blah… Now I want to just try to be HUMAN, the perfect version of MYSELF …the person that Allah made me…I just want to put in the effect to be that version that will please my Lord alone!! PERIOD. I want to do this out of gratitude to Allah for sending me into this world, for making me the person I am…I may be imperfect but I am me, a unique individual but still a slave of Allah that He cares about. And I don’t need approval of the world to tell me who I am or who I should be ..I just need His approval.

Anyway, having said that, I have been keeping a track of the views of this blog and alhumdulillah I am humbled to see how the stats have been pretty to good even though I was not active for over a year. Alhumdulillah that Allah gave me this opportunity and made this blog as a Sadqa-e-jariya for me. JazakaAllahu Khair dear readers for stopping by, taking time to leave your response and giving me the opportunity to help you through the articles I write or the posts I share. Alhumdulillah . Whatever good you find in this blog is a mercy from my Rabb and whatever mistake and wrong in it is either form the Shaytaan or a result of my week nafs.

So, do stay tuned for some interesting new stuff coming up, inshaAllah!:)

Loads of Duas,
Unaiza

My Loving Lord

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Dear Allah,

Thank You.

I am short of words to tell my Lord a million thanks for the mercy He shows on me again and again.

A thousand times I fail…yet your mercy remains. It humbles me more to know you are here, you are watching, my struggle my tears, my pain, my anxiety… How I want to so horribly set things right but it is beyond my capability.

I know you are watching me cry myself to sleep at night… I know you are watching me fight to set things right.. I know you are watching the struggle I am facing…and even though I know my struggle is nothing compared to what worse situtions people face all around the world … I know that for YOU even my single tear that falls out of this struggle is not something small..YOU know that it is not a problem I have created for myself.

You are Al-Wadood, you love me 70 times more than my mother. You are Al-Aleem ..you have the knowledge of what is in my heart.. You know that I am not making up this struggle .. You know that this struggle is REAL .. It may be small for others but for me it is a burden.

But it is a burden that you know I can bear right? That’s why you put me through this.

You know Allah it’s humbling how you take care of me…despite the fact that I am falling short in my prayers… Yet you send signs in such miraculous ways that makes me fall in prostration to you out of thankfulness.

You said in th Quran “Verily with hardship there is ease” and all those signs that you send my way are a moments of ease for me in this time of hardship.

A few weeks back I remember how I felt that You are no longer with me.. That may be I am not worthy of you love and you have abundant me. But just in matter of 10 mins since I cried in prostration to you, You made me listen to this reminder — even thought I had heard it before but yet YOU made me hear it again just to tell me that YOU have NOT abandoned me!!

And then the people in my life whom you have placed…SubhanaAllah. When I received this book “A Temporary Gift” as a present from my friends today, I cried. I cried tears of happiness… It just made me feel so blessed to know that Allah has put friends in my life who care, who are there to support me, who are there to advice me in a manner that will bring me closer to my Rabb! I felt blessed! Alhumdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.

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I am humbled my Lord …. And I have no words to thank you… No words are sufficient to thank my Lord … Who is watching me and taking care of my affairs.

And like Asma Hussein said in her book…”None of these things happen because i am particularly good or worthy.
They happen because Allah cares about the hearts of His slaves. ”

I love you My Lord. Thank You for being there.

Your Slave,
Unaiza

2013 in review

Another year has come to pass. Quick like always… though in a way seems like a long year when I look at all the things that happened round this year SubhanAllah! Though I have blogged way too less this year but alhumdulillah I feel glad and blessed to see people still visiting and benefiting mashaAllah from the previous posts that I have written or shared !

May Allah accept the good that has come out of this blog and forgive me if I have ever erred. Ameen.

Here is the WordPress.com stats prepared 2013 annual report for this blog:

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 24,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 9 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

JazakaAllahu Khair to all my readers!❤

Objectives of Ramadan

Source: SuhaibWebb.com

Discussing the objectives of our actions is an important thing because to do so is to discuss the actions in a true and deep way. It is possible that if we do not know why we are doing certain things, we could miss the entire point behind the action itself. The Prophet ﷺ said about this concept, “Maybe a fasting person gains nothing from his fast except hunger and thirst. And maybe a person who prays in the night gains nothing from their prayer except staying up late.”1 So this is a person who does an action but gets no result from it.

This is because if someone does an action without knowing why they are doing it or what the objective behind it is, then it is possible that the action will be useless. This is because, as Imam al-Shāṭibī said, “Actions without objectives are like bodies without souls.” So in this article we will discuss some of the general objectives of fasting and Ramadan.

1. Attaining Taqwa

This is the major objective of fasting in Ramadan as clarified by the Qur’an. God said, “O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous [muttaqūn].”2 Fasting also teaches a person how to have taqwā because while one is fasting they are careful about all kinds of things. They watch what comes out of their mouth, what they look at, and all that they do. As a result, the person learns how to have a certain level of restraint regarding their actions. This helps them build their taqwā by making them watchful over everything that they do. As to the definition of taqwā, the clearest way to understand it is through the definition that was provided by Abū Hurayra (ra). Someone came to him and asked, “What is taqwā?” He responded by asking the man if he has ever walked through a thorny road. He said, “Yes.” He asked, “What did you do?” He replied, “Whenever I saw thorns I would avoid them or adjust my clothes to keep them safe.” Abū Hurayra told him, “That’s taqwā.

2. Fasting is a Shield

The Prophet ﷺ said in an authentic hadith (narration) that “fasting is a shield.”3 Even the word shield in Arabic has the connotation of protection and this is one of the meanings of the word taqwā. The Prophet ﷺ also said, “O youth! Whosoever amongst you can afford to get married, let them get married. And whoever cannot afford to do so then they should fast because it will help him control his desires.”4 This protection that fasting gives cannot be accomplished by just reducing one’s food intake because it is the material and immaterial elements of fasting that aide one in controlling themselves. For this reason Imam al-Ṣanʿānī said about this, “It is for a secret that God put in fasting, so just reducing how much food you eat will not be enough.”

3. Fasting and Patience

Another thing that we should learn in Ramadan is to be patient with what we face in our daily lives. The Prophet ﷺ said in a hadith, “Fasting the month of patience, and three days of every month is equivalent to fasting the entire year.”5 In this hadith, the Prophet ﷺ refers to the month of Ramadan as the month of patience, emphasizing the importance of patience in this month.

It is also said that fasting is half of patience. This is because patience basically consists of staying away from bad deeds and persisting in good deeds. In the month of Ramadan, one of the major things that we seek to do is stay away from as many bad deeds as possible so that our fasting is half of patience.

4. Ramadan is the Month of Qur’an

In the month of Ramadan, we spend more time with the Qur’an than in any other part of the year. We spend time reading it by ourselves, we spend time studying it, we spend time listening to it during tarāwīḥ prayers, and so on. In this month, the revelation of the Qur’an began and a civilization of learning and knowledge was born.

5. A Month of Generosity

It is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ was the most generous of people and his most generous time was Ramadan. In doing this, the Prophet ﷺ was combining between a personal act of worship, like reading the Qur’an, and a social act of worship, charity. Thereby, he showed what it means to live a comprehensive existence as someone who worships God. In doing so, he shows that our responsibilities are not only limited to ourselves but also include those around us.

6. The Importance of Time

We also learn in Ramadan that time is one of the most important blessings that we have in our lives. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Two blessings, many people are at a loss regarding them: health and free time.”6 The major acts of worship in Islam are all related to specific times. We pay our zakāt at a particular time. We pray at specific times. We start fasting at a particular time, in a particular month, and we break our fast at a particular time. We go on ḥajj at a particular time. All of these specifications are meant to teach us, among other things, the importance of time. For this reason al-Ḥasan al-Baṣrī said, “O son of Adam! You are nothing but a compilation of breaths, so every time you inhale and exhale, a piece of you is lost.” The believer is strict with their time and the more a person’s faith increases, the more their observance of their time increases. The responsibilities we have are more than the time we have to carry them out, so we should try to be as strict with our time as possible.

These are just some of the objectives of fasting and Ramadan that we should seek to actualize. We can use these as a measuring stick for our month and see how we add up. If we look throughout and see that we are improving in these aspects then we should thank God for His bounties upon us, and if we find that we are not, then we should seek His forgiveness and grace and work harder.

May Allah accept from us all our good deeds in this month and forgive us for our shortcomings. Ameen.

Note: Most of the this article is taken from an article on the topic that was written by Shaykh al-Raysuni.

Source: SuhaibWebb.com

Fiqh of Ramadan [Sawm, Zakah & Eid]

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatahu,

The blessed month of Ramadan has arrived again, alhumdulillah. May Allah help us make this Ramadan the most beneficial one.

I have posted the Fiqh of Ramadan notes from “Learn Islam(Short Courses)“, short courses helping us gain Islamic knowledge run as a facebook page.

The Fiqh of Ramadan course consisted of Fiqh of Sawm(fasting), Fiqh of Zakah and Fiqh of eid, each of which I have published as a seperate page on the blog. You can find it on the top left hand corner under the ‘Fiqh’ title, inshaAllah or just use the following links to be re-directed to the page.

Fiqh Of Fasting
Fiqh of Zakah
Fiqh of Eid [ COMING SOON!!! – scheduled to be published on Aug 1, 2013 inshaAllah]

Have a blessed Ramadan, make the most of your time . May Allah make this Ramadan a means for us to grow spiritually and closer to Him. Ameen!

Ramadan Mubarak!:)

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