And you thought you were strong…

There are times Allah puts you into situations that make you feel in a way that you never thought you would. These are the times you realise how weak, how human and how helpless you are… You have no control over certain things… especially your Qalb – Your heart! You realise then that Allah is Al-Muqallib – Controller of Hearts and it is only through him that you find any strength that you do, everything you feel, everything you experience comes from Him. He put it there for some reason. It’s the contemplation in moments like these that you understand again the necessity of your heart to be with Him, to depend on Him alone and ask of Him alone. Because alone you are nothing, and through Him you gain everything.

You thought you were strong,
You thought you’d now act grown up
You thought you had unshaken faith
You thought you would never feel anxious again
You thought you’d never wait!

You were wrong
You were wrong
You were wrong!

You still wait
You still get anxious
You are weak
Your heart still doesn’t listen to you anymore
You still feel just as vulnerable

You know why?

Because you are human
Your heart hasn’t turned stone
it still beats
it still feels
it still hates to let go
it still desires
it still loves…
No matter how much you don’t want it to!

Because you’re not the controller of your heart,
He is!

– Aasiya Maryam

O Controller of Hearts, make my heart firm in your deen!
O Controller of Hearts, I ask you for Your love and love of the one whose love benefits me with You.
O Controller of Hearts,  whatever You have bestowed upon me of what I love, let it be a strength for me in what you love.
O Controller of Hearts, whatever You withhold from me of what I love let it be a void (to be filled) with what You love.
O Controller of hearts, strengthen my heart with your love, protection and care so it may withstand the big and small storms of life.