The “New Year” Dilemma!

On the new year eve, there was a get together at my uncle’s place. We had a barbecue that my cousin was doing. I really wanted to be there, for several reasons. But I knew it would not be right to be a part of any celebration especially after reading the religious part of how the new year celebrations came into existence, I was in dilemma if I should attend it. Especially now that I wear the hijab, I feel all the more responsible about my actions, alhumdulillah.

Entire day of Dec 31st I had been arguing with myself if I should go or not. I had strong reasons not to go.  In addition to the religious reasons, I remember I had not been for the 2011 barbecue, I had different reasons back then but I remember I had prayed nafl namaz at 12. I wanted to do the same this time too. But then I also wanted to go because I felt it would be disrespectful to put down their invitation. Plus I love family gatherings, and I didn’t want to miss out on that. I thought may be I should go, enjoy the dinner and spend time with family and may be I could give some reason and come back home before 12. Moreover I didn’t want to give my family the chance of telling me or thinking that I was getting extreme either. A million thoughts ran through my head throughout the day as I tried to find every possible solution as to how I could I tackle this situation in the best possible Islamic way.

At around 9 p.m my aunt called and asked us to come soon. I had still not decided what I was going to do. My mom asked us to finish reading Isha prayers so we could leave. I went up to my room confused. I tried to do everything at tortoise pace hoping that may be if I am late my parents might just leave me home and leave.

I made wudhu and prayed Isha. I made dua and seeked help from Allah. My dad was calling out for me to come soon so we can leave. At that moment I decided there was only one thing I could do right then – Pray istikhaara. I did that. I prayed istikhaara and asked Allah to make me do what is right.

Next thing I knew was that I was on my way to uncle’s place. Now, I put every other thought behind me and spoke, laughed and spend some quality time with my family. Alhumdulillah! 🙂

Just some time before midnight, my sister-in-law (cousin’s wife) randomly asks me “we shouldn’t be wishing each other New year right?” With a big grin I tell her yeah we shouldn’t, satisfied that atleast I had one person who wouldnt wish me! Anyway, when I realised the clock struck 12 I quietly escaped from the place just to avoid people wishing me new year. I went down to the hall (the barbecue was on the terrace) and I prayed nafl! 🙂

All praise be to Allah, hardly anyone wished me new year that night and my mum also told me they didnt wish each other either, Subhanallah! 🙂 When I went up to the terrace and joined my mom and brother-in-law on the table, my mom informed him how I didnt want anyone to be wishing each other (even thought I didn’t tell her that!) and though I thought he would tell me not to get so extreme and that it was ok, I was suprised that he was actually happy knowing that I was trying to stop doing things that are not Islamic. Alhumdulillah! 🙂

That night I returned home at peace knowing that Allah had helped me avoid doing anything that would displease Him. In addition, He(swt) had helped me keep my parents happy too and also everyone else! 🙂 Oh and how can I forget the da’wah opportunity that I had got while talking to my sis-in-law, Alhumdulillah! 🙂

Lesson learnt: Sometimes the best thing to do is make the right intention, pray istikhaara and leave the rest to Allah(swt)! 🙂  

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4 thoughts on “The “New Year” Dilemma!

  1. amatulhafeez says:

    mashaAllah sister thank you soo much for sharing. Allah ta ala makes it easy inchaAllah

    Remind me of this article I found on sisters magazine…

    http://sisters-magazine.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&id=1586:the-christmas-crisis&itemcheck=trues2&item_id=1586&item_year=2011&item_month=12

  2. Sabirah M says:

    Assalamu’alaikum!

    Masha’Allah, that is wonderful what you did. My husband and I went to watch the fireworks on New Years this year here in Singapore b/c we heard it was absolutely spectacular. We don’t ever celebrate New Years, but what matters is your intentions.

    When I got married, there were tons of other weddings going on that for numerous reasons I was having a hard time deciding whether it was appropriate for us to attend or not. We knew there would be haraam things happening, but also the hadith that it is discouraged to turn down a wedding invite. Finally, my husband went to a Shaikh and asked him what the best thing we could do is and explained the kinds of haraam things that would be happening.

    He told us that the most important thing is to not ruin the ties of our relationships with the ppl. The best action is to attend the event, not to partake in the haraam things, eat dinner (as is the Sunnah), and leave soon after. Most importantly, we went out of respect and left quickly.

    • Walaikum Assalam,

      All praise be to Allah for guiding me to do the right thing that day! 🙂

      You are right, what counts is the intentions! Jazakallahu Khair for sharing your experience, I got to learn a lot from it!

      Alhumdulillah, Islam is an easy religion.. I think people complicate it too much! What I find more sad is how in the process we also tend to hurt people at times!

      May Allah guide us all to do what is best!

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